The other day we were making Cakes in a Cup sets. Our plan was to make the gifts and then allow all each of the kids to have one for a treat. However, things went a bit off course when we found out the recipe wasn’t quite right, and we ended up having to do a bunch of testing. If you’re really interested about that, you can read more here.
As we were making our modified version, the kids were all delighting in taste-testing each batch. Raif came into the kitchen and I told him that we were having cakes in a cup and asked him if he wanted one. His face lit up. “Cake?” He immediately ran out of the room. Most of the time, that would have been it. Raif is notorious for doing that kind of thing, making a statement and then going on his way. This time, however, he came back a few minutes later and said, “Birthday Cake.”
As I have explained before, Raif has some associates which holds steadfastly to. Granted, we do have cake other than on birthdays, and he knows the difference at those times. But, on this particularly night, he wanted birthday cake. Raif then pulled out a small scented candle, which he proceeded to put on top of the small cup-cake; I suppose it was the only candle he could find. He then started gesturing for me to light it. I laughed and got a traditional birthday candle out of the drawer and put it in the cake. He sat down, readying for the ritual of song and blowing out of the candle. I called the other kids in. Before we started to sing, however, I worried. Raif does understand his birthday. Actually, it’s only been in the last few years that he’s wanted to do much participating in opening gifts and the other ritual aspects of the day. I didn’t want to confuse him, making him think that it was actually the day he turned a year older. So, after a moment, remembering the song from the Disney version of Alice in Wonderland (one of Raif’s favorite movies), I started singing, “Happy Un-Birthday to you…” All the rest of the kids joined in. It was so funny, watching Raif smile as widely sa he would were we at Chuck E. Cheese or somewhere else having a party. Once we were all done, Raif huffed in and blew out the candle…and then he left the room and didn’t come back.
Raif eventually sauntered back in about 15 minutes later. I offered him the cake, to which he made a gagging noise and ran out. Yes, that’s his typical way of telling us he doesn’t want to eat a food…something I’m sure he picked up from some cartoon.
So, it was his unbirthday, and for Raif the cake meant nothing more than a song and a chance to blow out the candle. A little bit of joy for a child who is trapped in a world where not much really appeals to him or makes him overly happy. It was nice to be able to give that to him. I just wish it was that easy all the time.
