Tobey has passed the state math test! To some, that means nothing. To others, it is “no big deal.” In my house, it is monumental. You see, there is one deception that Tobey and I have faced since the day that he entered this world. That is the assumption that a HIGH percentage of the population think that physically challenged kids MUST be mentally challenged as well. SInce he is in a wheelchair, he must be completely inept in his brain as well. Oh my you should just hear some of the comments that I have had over the past 11 years.
“He doesn’t look retarded?”
“He is in a REGULAR class?”
“He does so well for someone like that…”
Yes, people have actually said these things and many more to me…When he was a baby, I was heartbroken and would just spend the rest of the day hurt that someone could possibly think that about my child. The next phase that I went through was the “education” one. I felt that it was my duty to educate people about spina bifida and other kids just like Tobey. However, I am sad to say, that you get REALLY tired of educating people. While I will still do it on occassion, I do not do it nearly as much as I probably should. I have moved on to the “ignore the idiots” phase. I just do not have the time and energy to invest in people who say such ignorant things to people that they have never even met or spoken to.
As the years have progressed, we have all dealt with this and have done our best to move on and encourage Tobey to be the smart, creative, loving and caring person that he is. With all that Tobey has faced/dealt with, he has taken so much on. His anxiety has skyrocketed. While I do not blame his stress problems solely on the comments that we hear, I have to say that they do not one thing to help. He is on meds to help him not be sad all the time, and he is such an anxious guy.
This really rears it’s head when it comes to tests. He could have an A in a class and KNOW every bit of the material. However, he gets the test and FREEZES up and forgets everything. The state tests are the worst as he knows just how important they are and that makes him all the more nervous. He failed the math test in 3rd and again in 4th. I was sure that he would do the same this year as this is the year where the stakes are the highest. You see, if he does not pass both the reading and math tests, he does not go on to 6th grade. We did everything that we could to prep him for this test. He knew the material. He was ready. Now, the only question was: Did he believe enough in himself to get the job done? We all hoped and prayed. I will be darned if that boy SHOWED US! He passed!!! WooHoo! No summer school for Tobey and LOOK OUT junior high because he is on his way and cannot wait!
Congrats to my brilliant boy!
